What My Husband Had the Nerve to Say to Me Post Pregnancy!
As many of you guys know, I gave birth recently to another healthy beautiful baby boy. He definitely came with his own set of surprises at birth for this Mommy. My husband knew the sex my whole pregnancy but I didn’t. Yes I’M CRAZY! What can I say... I just LOVE SURPRISES!!!... I had to compromise on a gender reveal for Baby #1 so I was going to have it my way with Baby #2.
Things Husbands say that are ridiculous can be a mile long but my husband really tried my entire life and some with this one. Now I laughed after I had a few seconds of, "Did he just really say that out loud to me in real life," but the truth is I wanted to give him raccoon eyes! Lol
The Story
So we are on our first date since the baby in which the baby was still present. Everybody knows that kids are the easiest the first few months to hang out with because they sleep for the most part, and don't talk, fall out, grab for food, or yell in public. They just sleep quietly in their carseat and wake up to eat every few hours and back to sleep they go (for the most part). So we're feeling all accomplished and very "adult-ish" that out dates are finally happening again and riding in total bliss while looking at each other every few seconds because for...
1. I'm happy to be out of the house to experience real adult life again, nature and society
2. I get to EAT like it's "THE LAST SUPPER" with no baby in me taking up all my eating room *hands in the air people... and
3. I'm out with my love FINALLY!!! Date Nights are back in effect without the belly in the way! LOL!
Like I was saying, we were gazing at each other like we were boyfriend and girlfriend (with our "+1" in the backseat). I'm looking cute and face beat for the occasion when...
Well, we are in the car barely 5 minutes away from the house and he looks to me and says this...
wait for it...
"Babe, can you not get pregnant again for a while this time.. ... ..." and some other words to complete the sentence but all I heard was this part!
...
...
...
Did he just say that to me out loud?! Surely, he meant that in his head right??? The nerve of this peasant! I burst out laughing by myself. What a coincidence... humph. So I look at this human driving and say, "Are you serious?"
REAL VERSION!!!
Me: You not serious right now! Still laughing I say, So you gone act like I had these darn kids by myself!? Are you freakin' kidding me right now! Who says that! I mean, you do know I needed your sperm right?! So I'm Mary, Jesus mama! Clearly! That's what you saying! Boy bye! You really tried my entire life just then and some! You've clearly lost it. Do you need a hug or something because you have to be going through something if you think that makes logical sense. *pause for about 30 seconds... Did you really say that though?!!!!!!
Him: Babe I'm just saying... I didn't even know you stopped taking your birth control pills.
*moment of silence in the world
Me: You been known' fa years I am not the best at taking those. Plus I told you I had stopped taking those things. It’s not my fault you don’t listen. You sound like every other man who ALWAYS ASSUMES. Now I know how y'all get caught up because you ASSUME and don't checked up on her and ask if she's on it or taking it regularly like she's supposed to.
Me Again: Oh I'm sorry my uterus is an inconvenience for you. *death stare
Him: Really Nicia Really. The last thing I knew was that you were taking them. You never told me you stopped.
Me: You're such a liar. I can't with you. You SO KNEW! You remember what you want to remember. Why you think I would tell you to let me when you're about to ... ... ... (*fill in the blank people). YES GROWNUPS STILL USE THIS METHOD MARRIED AND ALL!!!!! JUDGE ME N O T!
Well... it's safe to say we are still married after this convo even though I could've kicked him out the seat while he was driving and made him Uber home. These husbands are something else I tell you!!!
My beautiful single ladies, these are the shenanigans you have to deal with even when you get married, unfortunately! This is the lighter more humorous side of the crazy that comes out of their mouths.
SIDE NOTE: However, Marriage doesn’t change these crazy men (or you) so don’t fall for the hype or lies that it does! Whatever is going on when dating will likely continue and/or get WORSE once you're married...so be careful when choosing your mate and what you want to deal with later. FYI: Marriage emphasizes and magnifies ALL FLAWS. Don't believe what social media shows. No marriage is perfect boo!
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