The Oh So Fun Sleep Training!
This is the bane of most parents existence! I mean, really, who wants to feel like the worst parent ever? No one really enjoys this stage of the game. Is it necessary? In my opinion, YES! I absolutely, beyond a shadow of doubt, unequivocally believe that ALL kids should have some level or pattern of sleep that's followed for a 1000 reasons that I would love to share but I don't want to bore you with my nerdy and sermonistic approach to half of them.
There are a ton of mixed feelings by parents and pediatricians about how this should be done. The rule of thumb is that you should start between 4 and 6 months of age sleep training, but it's NEVER too late to start. Some babies develop their own sleep pattern and others fall asleep on their own without having to go through this grueling process. I'm here to tell you though... you are the parent so it's up to you to choose what best fits your baby and at what age this should be done. In the meantime, you can always try these methods below and see which one works best for you.
Methods
There are several techniques or basic approaches to sleep training. The cry it out approach is about the baby learning to soothe themselves so letting them cry for short periods then comforting without picking him up. The no tears approach is more about soothing the baby first than letting them cry so you would get baby to sleep, lay them down, and return to comfort them when they cry, then repeat. Then there is the fading approach which involves the parent camping out near the baby while they fall sleep and you would gradually move away from the crib each night until you are no longer needed to be near; or you would check on your baby without picking them up every five minutes until the baby falls asleep. Now there is the exception to all of this and it is called co-sleeping. I personally could NEVER live that life by choice. I mean, I guess, if your spouse worked the graveyard shift and you slept alone, it would be ok. It's not for everybody and especially not for me, but scientists are saying it is perfectly healthy for the child and comes with so many benefits. I knew decades ago that I could not. I've never had that level of trust in myself to sleep with a baby and especially a toddler! I literally kicked my niece out of the bed in my sleep once. Another time, we lost our 6 month old nephew in the bed in the middle of the night. (* insert blank stare emoji)
Practice
So much happier in the mornings! 7 mos old
We tried sleep training around 3 months and he wasn't ready. We tried it again at 4 months and he still wasn't ready. When he hit 5 months, we did it again, and voila! Magic happened and it actually started to work but it took persistence, strength, and endurance. We used the cry it out approach from doing our own thorough investigation and combined it with the no tears approach. How could we tell he wasn't ready? Well, you just can. I can't explain it, but we could just tell. I don't know what mixture of insanity it was each time that it brought us when we tried but it was #teamNOfun. I'm sure it was the furious, screaming, bloody murder, you can't possibly love me the way you say you do cry that lasted at least 15-20 minutes straight with no end in sight that brought us both to a dead end so we caved EVERY time. (The things you experienced mommas don't share about mommylife!). This process wasn't easy at first and it was almost birth control for me but we made it. Hallelujah! We set 7:30 pm as his bedtime which was hard to do at first because his sleep schedule was all off. Every night we would give him a nice warm bath to relax him. Next we loved on him a few minutes, laid him down, let him cry for about 10 minutes, went in and rubbed his back (no talking or eye contact) until he calmed down, left out again, and repeated. Now if he became roofless with the crying, we would do the no tears approach and pick him up, then start over with laying him down again. This lasted the first couple weeks with some nights easier than others. By 6 months, he only cried for about 5 minutes and it wasn't even a real cry. He had learned the fake cry and it was really funny. Now he still woke up about twice throughout the night to nurse but that's just my child. Most babies will just sleep through the night at that point.
I hope this helps some of you moms that are itching all over to finally get some rest for a change. It's easy for some babies and not so much for others. Prepare yourself before beginning this though so that you are mentally strong. You have to be ok with hearing your baby cry and recognizing the different cries they have. Know the difference between them crying to just be held, the fake cry that has no tears but sounds real, and the cry that something is actually wrong (i.e. poopy diaper, gas, sick). Do all these first and then begin the process. You're not a bad mom because you're trying to establish healthy sleeping habits early for your baby. Besides, babies are nicer, healthier, heal faster, and their bodies function better when they are well rested. I mean let's keep it real for a second... Me-time is a must when you've been at it all day with a kid or 2 or 5, or worked all day and had to cook and everything else when you got home. Happy mommy equals happy baby. You feel refreshed and you're patience is renewed to tackle it all over again each day. So establish a bedtime routine and stick to it. You will be amazed at how much better life will be! As always, enjoy your week and remember that you're already absolutely AMAZING!!!
Comments